Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, April 1, 2018

No foolin'

It may be April Fools Day, and I did get fooled once today, but all kidding aside, I'm happy to report I'm feeling better, really. My days of severe fatigue seem to have passed. I only took a one hour nap today, as opposed to the 3-4 hour naps I took most of this past week. With all that sleeping, I didn't have time or energy to exercise most of last week either. I exercised today. I took a 4 mile walk with Jet. It was a crisp, sunny day, so it was especially nice to be back out in the world. And that's what it felt like. I was out.

When I feel poorly, my world gets very small. My world isn't large to begin with, but when I don't feel well it gets tiny. For the past two weeks it's been me, my house, and my job. Besides work, I didn't go out. I didn't get to the gym. I didn't run any errands. Very small... But today, I got out. I walked, and I bought groceries, and it wasn't even painful to be in the store. It seems I've regained some of my energy and relieved some of my isolation. How nice.

During and after my walk I was pleasantly surprised to discover my knee tolerated the activity fairly well. I developed a plan to get back to running, but it's going to begin with daily walking. I'm going to attempt to walk daily, even if it's just 15 minutes, in order to begin re-strengthening my legs. I want to establish the habit and get stronger before I begin running again. The past two weeks have wreaked havoc on my exercise behavior, and I've lost a ton of fitness since my knee surgery 7 weeks ago. I need to get my running life back, but I'm so far removed from it, I need to go slow.

That's the scoop, my friends. I've got a busy work week ahead, but I'm going to try to take it one day at a time. I'm praying I'll continue to feel more and more back to normal over the next several days. If I don't, I guess I'll deal with that one moment at a time, too. But I hope I do. Life is so much easier when my mood isn't dragging me down.

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